Well... ish.

You see I just had a slight epiphany... thanks to Scrubs. Yes, I know, not the most intellectual thing to get an epiphany from. But never mind.

I've just been tidying my room, having a big clear out of all the clothes I no longer wear. Most of them are so disgusting/worn that I can't even force them on a charity shop, but you know, not the issue. There hasn't been a lot to distract me most of the time, and I've been stuck with my own thoughts. And I've been worrying.

There's so much I have to worry about right now. There's the fact that I don't think I have any chance of passing my exams this year, thanks to missing most of my lessons this year. Then yesterday I went into a bit of a depressive state, which scared me a lot, because I thought my pills were stopping that from happening. I also have been spending far too much money, a lot of which isn't actually mine. My room is still a mess and I have no idea how it'll all cram into a single car and a few suitcases that'll go on the train to Liverpool. Then there's my friends: several people have been having problems lately and I have no idea how I can help, though I really really want to, including my cousin. And finally, I'm worried about my mum and how lonely she is at the moment.

Then I though about it. Why worry - about any of it? We all have to stop worrying and CALM DOWN. Live for the moment and think of the consequences later. Sure, there'll be some, but we need to have fun. We need to live every day like it's our last. I don't want to find out I have cancer or something like that one day and regret not doing things that I won't have time to do.

See now I'm picking apart that argument in my own head - telling myself that I need to STOP feeling like that already before I ruin my life.

Oh well.

I'm just confusing myself now. I need to get back in that wardrobe. I finally replaced the lightbulb, at least.

Misty x